Master the Art of Coffee Ordering

Mastering the art of coffee ordering is all about understanding the different types of coffee and what makes each one unique. It involves knowing that Espresso is the strong base for many coffee drinks, while Americano offers a milder option.

You should also be aware of the distinctions between a Caffe Latte and a Cappuccino. Don't forget to explore sweet variations like the Caramel Macchiato or the Pumpkin Spice Latte for a different taste experience.

Consider factors such as your preferred strength, size, sweetness level, and any extra ingredients when making your selection. Whether you're in the mood for an iced coffee to cool off or a hot espresso for that caffeine boost, choose a coffee that suits your feelings and the weather to enhance your enjoyment.

As you become more experienced, you'll develop a refined taste for your coffee choices.

Key Takeaways

When ordering coffee, it's essential to know the differences between various types like espresso, ristretto, Americano, caffe latte, and cappuccino. If you prefer a sweeter taste, you can opt for drinks like caramel macchiato, mocha, vanilla latte, or pumpkin spice latte. On hot days, consider iced or ice blended coffee, while for a caffeine kick, go for hot espresso shots. If you want to skip the caffeine, decaf coffee is a good choice.

When choosing your coffee, factors to consider include strength, volume, sweetness, additional ingredients, your mood, and the weather. These aspects can help you pick the perfect coffee to suit your preferences at any given moment.

Understanding Different Coffee Types

Before delving into the world of coffee, it's important to understand the various types available. From strong black coffee options like Espresso and Ristretto to milk-based favorites such as Caffe latte and Cappuccino, each type offers a distinct flavor profile.

Espresso serves as the foundation for many coffee beverages with its robust taste, while Americano provides a milder alternative by diluting Espresso with hot water. On the sweeter side, Ristretto offers a less bitter version of Espresso for those with a preference for sweetness.

For milk coffee enthusiasts, choices like the creamy Caffe latte, frothy Cappuccino, and the velvety Flat white cater to different taste preferences. If you're looking to explore beyond the basics, options like caramel Macchiato and Café Mocha introduce additional flavors to the mix.

Understanding these coffee types is key to fully appreciating the diverse and rich flavors that the world of coffee has to offer.

Exploring Sweet Coffee Variations

If you have a sweet tooth and love coffee, there are some delicious options that combine the best of both worlds. These coffee variations add a touch of sweetness to your favorite traditional coffee flavors, creating a delightful treat that satisfies your cravings. From a simple caramel drizzle on a latte to complex blends with spices and syrups, these drinks offer a perfect balance of sugar and coffee goodness.

1. Caramel Macchiato: This espresso drink features layers of steamed milk, vanilla syrup, strong espresso, and a swirl of caramel on top.
2. Mocha: Indulge in a blend of espresso, steamed milk, and chocolate syrup, often topped with whipped cream for an extra treat.
3. Vanilla Latte: Enjoy a classic combination of espresso and steamed milk with a hint of sweet vanilla syrup to elevate the flavor.
4. Pumpkin Spice Latte: A seasonal favorite that combines espresso with warm pumpkin pie spices, steamed milk, and a touch of sweetness from sugar, perfect for cozy autumn days.

Navigating Other Coffee Choices

When it comes to enjoying coffee, it's not just about the sweet variations. There are many other coffee choices to explore that can suit different preferences, moods, and weather conditions.

For example, on hot days, you might enjoy a refreshing iced coffee or an ice blended coffee, while a hot espresso shot can give you the caffeine boost you need. If you're looking to cut back on caffeine, decaf coffee is a great option.

When choosing a coffee, think about factors like the strength, volume, sweetness, and any additional ingredients. Whether you're looking for a cozy drink on a chilly day or a cooling beverage on a hot afternoon, matching your coffee choice to your mood and the weather is key.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Are Some Tips for Beginners Ordering Coffee for the First Time?

When you're new to ordering coffee, it's helpful to know the basic types like espresso, americano, latte, and cappuccino. These drinks vary in volume, strength, sweetness, and extras added. You can choose between hot or cold coffee based on your preference. If you're unsure, don't hesitate to ask the barista for recommendations to find the perfect cup for you.

How Can I Customize My Coffee Order Based on My Taste Preferences?

When customizing your coffee order, think about what you enjoy in terms of strength, sweetness, and temperature. For instance, if you like a robust and piping hot coffee, go for an espresso. On the other hand, if you prefer a sweeter and chilled option, consider trying a caramel macchiato. Tailoring your order to match your taste preferences can enhance your coffee-drinking experience.

What Are Some Key Terms or Lingo I Should Be Familiar With When Ordering Coffee?

When ordering coffee, it's helpful to know some key terms. For black coffee, you can choose from espresso, ristretto, or Americano. If you prefer milk coffee, options include latte, cappuccino, or macchiato. For special varieties, you might enjoy a caramel macchiato or café mocha. If you're looking for something different, you can try iced coffee, decaf, or an extra shot. Understanding these terms can enhance your coffee ordering experience and help you find the perfect brew to suit your taste preferences.

How Is the Caffeine Content Determined in Different Types of Coffee?

Have you ever wondered why the caffeine content differs among various types of coffee? Well, it all comes down to factors like the type of beans used, how the coffee is brewed, and the serving size. In simple terms, the stronger and larger the coffee, the more caffeine it is likely to have.

Which Coffee Types Are Best Suited for Different Times of the Day?

In the morning, kickstart your day with an espresso or cappuccino for a jolt of caffeine. For a midday pick-me-up, savor a latte or flat white. In the evening, wind down with decaf or a café mocha for a soothing treat. Each coffee type complements different times of the day, enhancing your overall coffee experience.

Conclusion

Understanding the wide range of coffee options is like learning a rich and diverse language. Each type, from strong black coffee to creamy milk-based ones, offers a unique array of flavors and experiences.

By knowing about different sweet variations and choices available, coffee enthusiasts can confidently explore this world, creating a personalized journey through a mix of tastes, textures, and temperatures.

Kickstart Your Home Coffee Roasting Business

Are you a coffee aficionado with a desire to turn your passion into a profitable business? Have you ever wondered how to start a home coffee roasting business and embark on a journey of flavor exploration? Look no further! This comprehensive guide will equip you with the essential knowledge and steps to launch your own coffee roasting venture from the comfort of your own home.

If the aroma of freshly roasted coffee beans tantalizes your senses and the thought of creating unique blends excites you, then it’s time to delve into the world of home coffee roasting. Whether you dream of starting a small-scale operation or envision a full-fledged coffee roasting business, this guide will help you navigate the process.

The Allure of Starting a Home Coffee Roasting Business

Embarking on the journey of starting a home coffee roasting business is an enticing prospect for many coffee enthusiasts. It offers the opportunity to turn a beloved hobby into a thriving business venture, combining passion with entrepreneurship. However, this path is not without its challenges.

The Journey from Coffee Enthusiast to Business Owner

For coffee enthusiasts, the allure of starting a home coffee roasting business lies in the ability to share their love for coffee with others. Roasting coffee beans at home allows for full control over the roasting process, resulting in a personalized and unique product. From selecting green coffee beans to carefully monitoring the roasting profiles, coffee enthusiasts can craft coffee blends that perfectly suit their taste preferences.

Transitioning from a coffee enthusiast to a business owner requires taking on additional responsibilities. While passion for coffee is a strong foundation, it is essential to develop business acumen and learn the intricacies of the coffee industry. This includes understanding market trends, building a customer base, and creating a strong brand identity.

Understanding the Excitement and Challenges Ahead

Starting a coffee roasting business is an exciting venture that offers endless possibilities. It allows for creativity in creating unique blends, exploring different roasting techniques, and even collaborating with other coffee enthusiasts or local businesses. The satisfaction of seeing customers enjoy your carefully roasted coffee and building a loyal following is unparalleled.

However, it is important to acknowledge the challenges that come with running a coffee roasting business. These challenges include sourcing high-quality green coffee beans, ensuring consistent roasting results, managing inventory, and competing in a saturated market. Additionally, understanding and navigating regulations and certifications, such as Fair Trade or Organic, is crucial for building trust with customers.

Despite these challenges, the rewards of starting a home coffee roasting business far outweigh the obstacles. By carefully planning and strategizing, coffee enthusiasts can transform their love for coffee into a successful and fulfilling business venture. Stay tuned for the next section, where we delve into the preparation required before you begin roasting.

Preparation is Key: Before You Begin Roasting

Before diving into the world of coffee roasting, it is crucial to be well-prepared. Taking the time to carefully plan and equip yourself with the right knowledge and tools will set the foundation for a successful coffee roasting business. Here are the essential steps and considerations you need to take before you begin roasting:

1. Acquire the necessary knowledge and skills: Familiarize yourself with the art and science of coffee roasting. Attend workshops, seminars, or classes to learn about different roasting techniques, flavor profiles, and various coffee beans. This knowledge will lay the groundwork for creating exceptional roasts.
2. Set up your workspace: Create a dedicated area for coffee roasting. Ensure proper ventilation and safety measures to prevent accidents and maintain air quality. Purchase a roasting machine that suits your needs and space constraints, and arrange your workspace in an organized and efficient manner.
3. Source high-quality green coffee beans: Establish relationships with reputable coffee suppliers or connect directly with coffee farmers. Ensure that the beans are sourced sustainably and ethically, with transparent information regarding their origin, processing methods, and quality standards.
4. Invest in proper storage containers: To maintain the freshness and quality of your green coffee beans, invest in airtight containers specifically designed for coffee storage. These containers will protect the beans from moisture, oxygen, light, and other damaging factors.
5. Create a roasting plan: Develop a roasting plan to help you achieve consistency and maintain quality in every batch. Consider factors such as roast profiles, batch sizes, and desired flavors. Document your findings and adjustments to improve your future roasting sessions.
6. Build a reliable network: Establish connections within the coffee industry, such as fellow roasters, baristas, or experts. Join local coffee associations or participate in online forums and communities to gain insights, exchange knowledge, and stay updated with the latest trends and practices.

By following these essential steps and considerations, you will be well-prepared to embark on your coffee roasting journey. Remember, preparation is key to laying a strong foundation for a successful and fulfilling coffee roasting business.

Essential Equipment for Coffee Roasting at Home

When it comes to coffee roasting at home, having the right equipment is essential to achieve the best results. In this section, we will explore the different types of coffee roasters available in the market and discuss the factors you should consider when choosing a roasting machine for your business. Let’s dive in!

Different Types of Coffee Roasters

There are several types of coffee roasters to choose from, each with its own advantages and characteristics. Here are some common types:

• Drum Roasters: These roasters use a rotating drum to evenly roast the coffee beans. They are suitable for small to medium-scale roasting and offer precise control over the roasting process.
• Air Roasters: Air roasters utilize hot air to circulate and roast the coffee beans. They are known for their fast and efficient roasting, making them ideal for home use.
• Fluid Bed Roasters: Fluid bed roasters use a stream of hot air to suspend and roast the coffee beans. They provide consistent and even roasts, making them a popular choice among specialty coffee roasters.
• Commercial Roasters: Commercial roasters are designed for large-scale coffee roasting operations. They offer extensive capacity and advanced control systems, but they may not be suitable for home use.

Each type of coffee roaster has its own unique features and roast profiles. Consider your roasting volume, desired roast levels, and budget when choosing the right type of roaster for your needs.

Choosing the Right Roasting Machine for Your Business

When selecting a coffee roasting machine for your business, there are several factors to take into account:

1. Roasting Capacity: Assess the amount of coffee you plan to roast regularly, and ensure the roasting machine can handle your desired volume comfortably.
2. Roast Control: Look for a roasting machine that offers precise control over temperature, airflow, and timing. This control enables you to achieve consistent and repeatable roast profiles.
3. Roast Profile Flexibility: Consider if the roaster allows you to experiment with different roast profiles to cater to various coffee origins and flavor profiles.
4. Build Quality and Durability: Invest in a roasting machine that is built to last, with sturdy construction and reliable components.
5. Budget: Determine your budget and find a roasting machine that offers the best value for your investment.

By carefully considering these factors and doing thorough research, you can choose the right coffee roasting machine that meets your business requirements and helps you produce high-quality, delicious coffee.

Developing Coffee Knowledge and Sensory Skills

To excel in the coffee roasting business, it is essential to develop a strong foundation of coffee knowledge and sensory skills. By honing your coffee knowledge and sensory skills, you can elevate the quality of your roasted coffee and provide a superior product to your customers.

Coffee knowledge refers to understanding the different types of coffee beans, their origins, flavor profiles, and brewing methods. As a coffee roaster, having a deep understanding of coffee varieties and their unique characteristics will enable you to make informed decisions during the roasting process.

Additionally, sensory skills play a crucial role in coffee roasting. Sensory analysis is the process of evaluating the aroma, taste, and body of coffee through sensory perception. By developing your sensory skills, you can identify subtle flavor nuances, detect defects, and ensure consistency in your roasted coffee.

Sensory analysis in coffee roasting involves a systematic approach to sensory evaluation, including cupping sessions to assess the coffee’s characteristics. By participating in cupping sessions and training your palate, you can refine your sensory skills and make more informed decisions during the roasting process.

Developing coffee expertise requires continuous learning and practice. It involves exploring different coffee origins, experimenting with roast profiles, and closely monitoring the impact of variables such as time, temperature, and airflow. By honing your coffee knowledge and sensory skills, you can consistently produce high-quality coffee that delights your customers.

Business Acumen: Crafting a Vision for Your Coffee Brand

In order to succeed in the competitive coffee market, it is essential to have strong business acumen. This section will guide you through the process of crafting a compelling vision for your coffee brand and developing a sound business plan. Additionally, we will explore effective strategies for building a strong and loyal customer base.

The Significance of a Sound Business Plan

A well-crafted business plan is the foundation of a successful coffee roasting venture. It serves as a roadmap for your business, outlining your goals, strategies, and financial projections. A thorough business plan not only helps you understand your target market and competition but also enables you to make informed decisions and secure funding if needed. By carefully analyzing your costs, pricing, and revenue streams, you can ensure the long-term viability and profitability of your coffee brand.

Strategies for Building a Strong Customer Base

Building a loyal customer base is crucial for the success of your coffee business. By implementing effective strategies, you can attract and retain customers who will become brand ambassadors and advocates. Some key strategies include:

• Quality products: Offer high-quality, freshly roasted coffee beans that deliver exceptional taste and flavor.
• Unique selling proposition: Differentiate your brand by highlighting your unique selling points, such as sustainability practices, direct trade relationships, or special flavor profiles.
• Brand storytelling: Create a compelling narrative around your brand, sharing its origins, values, and passion for coffee.
• Personalization: Build strong connections with your customers by providing personalized experiences, such as customized blends or subscription services tailored to their preferences.
• Engaging online presence: Utilize social media platforms, a well-designed website, and engaging content to connect with your target audience, share your brand story, and showcase your products.
• Exceptional customer service: Offer excellent customer service, respond to inquiries promptly, and provide a memorable experience that exceeds expectations.

Ethical Considerations in Coffee Sourcing

Did you know that despite the coffee market’s revenue amounting to $88 billion in 2023, farmers receive only 7 to 10% of the marked retail prices? It’s a shocking statistic that highlights the need for ethical considerations in coffee sourcing. With 62% of Americans drinking coffee daily and consuming an average of 3 cups per day, the impact of our coffee choices goes beyond our morning routine. It’s time to delve into the world of fair trade coffee certification and sustainable coffee farming practices to ensure responsible sourcing and a sustainable future for coffee.

The Complex Coffee Supply Chain

The journey of a coffee bean from seed to cup encompasses a complex supply chain involving various stakeholders, including farmers, exporters, and roasters. This intricate network presents both ethical implications and sustainability challenges for the coffee industry.

Coffee-growing communities, often located in underdeveloped or developing countries, face environmental challenges and rely on manual labor, including child labor, to cultivate and harvest the coffee beans. This raises significant ethical concerns that need to be addressed along the supply chain.

Processing and exporting the coffee beans require making ethical choices to ensure fair compensation for farmers and promote environmentally conscious sourcing practices. Fair wages and proper working conditions are crucial to supporting the livelihoods of these farmers and their communities.

The roasting and packaging of coffee beans also play a pivotal role in determining the flavor and quality of the final product.

The Brinkman electric smoker



Brinkman electric smoker is another nice addition to the already packed meat smoker such as the traditional charcoal smoker, char broil smoker, and many more. Do not be fooled by the fact that this new modern creation is not as good as the traditional meat smoker when used to cook the meat for it is not accurate at all. In fact, just like any meat smoker in the market, this appliance is very good in producing flavorful smoked meats or even better than the old fashioned meat smoker. Besides that, there are more advantages using it than using the others.

One of the good things about using this new invention is that it is very convenient in cooking smoked meats. This brinkman electric smoker is very efficient in maintaining the heat at constant temperature without breaking a sweat. You do not have to monitor the cooking process unlike some other meat smokers. It is easy to use and that what you expected to achieve using traditional meat smokers can also be done using this modern creation. You do not have to forgo that beautiful ring of pink that you always see on a properly smoked meat for you can also have it through the invention.

As mentioned above, it is easy to use brinkman electric smoker and it requires nothing more than just some wood chips or chunks, water, and the meat itself. Before cooking the meat, you need to soak the wood chips in water for around 30 minutes. After that, put the wood on the lava rocks but not to let it touch those heating element. Once done, fill the water bowl with water and put the lower rack in place. And you can begin with the cooking.

First, place the meat in a single layer on the cooking rack. Remember to have some space around it so that the smoke can be circulated around. You can smoke a lot of type of meat at the same go using brinkman electric smoker. You can smoke bacon, ham, turkey, and so on at the same time without having to separate them or anything. This is another advantage of using this invention. After that, cover the smoker and plug the heating element in and you are pretty much set for a good smoked meat. Do remember to occasionally check the amount of smoke and also the wood chunks. If you feel like it is in need of some adding, then, you add some wood chunks or chips to it.

It is that simple to cook smoked meats unlike with old fashioned meat smoker. However hard it may be back in those days, now, with brinkman electric smoker, you can enjoy the tasty and flavorful smoked meats without having to go through a lot of trouble in cooking one. This cool appliance is definitely the equipment to have in a house, especially so during the summer when barbecue is a must in all of the families. So, hurry up and grab one now before it is too late.

Organic Farming - Is It The Way Forward

"Organic agriculture is a production system that sustains the health of soils, ecosystems and people. It relies on ecological processes, biodiversity and cycles adapted to local conditions, rather than the use of inputs with adverse effects. Organic agriculture combines tradition, innovation and science to benefit the shared environment and promote fair relationships and a good quality of life for all involved...” This is the definition of organic farming officially accepted by the international Federation of Organic Agriculture Movements (IFOAM) that was established in 1972 and acts as the international umbrella organization for all organic organizations around the world. Organic farming aims to rely on organically managed methods of farming such as crop rotation, compost, mechanical cultivation, biological pest control and green manuring to control pests and maintain soil productivity while strictly avoiding the use of synthetic materials such as pesticides, genetically modified organisms, synthetic fertilizers etc. Since the 1990s, the organic market has grown rapidly and now accounts for 32.2 million hectares of all farmland. Its products accounted for $46 billion in 2007.

According to the book ‘The Gift of Good Land’, an organic farm is one that “uses certain methods and substances and avoids others . . . in imitation of the structure of a natural system . . . “ Farmers usually have the challenge of ensuring that plants get enough nitrogen, potassium and phosphorus. In organic farming, this is achieved through crop rotation and nitrogen-fixing plants like legumes that host the nitrogen-fixing bacteria rhizobia. Intercropping also helps in increasing soil nutrients. Potassium can be gotten by use of animal manure which must first be composted and various mineral powders like greensand and rock phosphate. Lime and sulfur is used to make the necessary PH amendments to the soil. Organic farming works best in mixed farms where there is livestock and crops in what are called ley farms. In this scenario, the manure is easily obtained to supply the needed mineral elements.

Weed control in organic farming is done through hand-weeding, garlic and clove oil, table salt and use of vinegar. In rice farming, ducks and fish are introduced into the paddy fields effectively eating both weeds and insects. Insect pests like nematodes and arthropods can be controlled removing dying materials like dry leaves, diseased plants and also use of cover plants. Beneficial organisms can also be introduced to control these insect pests. While marketing and the economies are scale are the greatest obstacles to organic farming, its benefits include reduced water contamination from pesticides, reduced soil erosion, reduced carbon emissions, reduced water use and increased biodiversity.

 

Solar Panels for Agricultural Power

There are a variety of positives when it comes to solar panels, especially since they harness the natural elements on earth to provide us with green energy. Plus, they are an energy source that's renewable, so they will never stop producing energy which is great. You may have been wondering whether or not you should get solar panels installed, in which case I recommend you continue to read to learn more about this wonderful energy source.

Building your own solar panels at home, or even down on the farm
isn't as difficult as many people think. Of course, you do need to have some DIY skills, in that you need to be handy with a soldering iron and to be able to handle a saw, but other than that you can have a solar panel ready in no time at all. To build your own solar panels you will need just a few basic items. You will need to use silicon caulk or wood glue of some type to attach the solar cells to the wooden container. If you can find solar cells that already have the tabs on them it will make wiring them up easier. If you can not find solar panels with tabs you will have to solder on the tabs before you glue them in place. A solar panel is connected to batteries and most of them use the regular 12 volt batteries that are used in cars. Storing electricity is just like recharging your batteries, except you are using a 12 V battery with a solar panel. You can save hundreds of dollars by finding low-cost or free batteries in your area. Once the battery has stored enough electricity, you can use the energy by hooking up a power inverter to convert it to AC. There are two types of power inverters available, namely true sine wave and modified sine wave. To replicate the comforts of home, a true sine wave inverter is what you need to have actual alternating current. Though more expensive, only the true sine wave device can create genuine AC electricity.

Solder on your diode before you attach it to batteries. This way, power will only be able to flow from the solar cells to the batteries and not the other way around. Lastly make sure that you are not wasting power. This is not a necessary step when you choose to use a charge controller instead.

There is no better time than now to switch to an alternative power source, considering the state of the global economy, especially since many experts fear that the worst is yet to come. In this day and age, you can feel safer knowing that your energy needs don't depend on things like oil, gas or coal being affordable or even available at all.

Biocontrol Agents for Organic Farming

What are biocontrols exactly? Is it stuff you use for organic
farming, like ladybugs, sulfur and maybe soap-spray? Right on
folks, but much-much more. Things change fast nowadays, ya know.
The biotechnology which produces many of the relatively new and
growing list of biocontrols for the agricultural supplier  (and
gardener) has ushered in the next era of pest-controls… at least
as a viable alternative anyway. It’s growing so fast however,
it’s the new terminology, not the technology, which you have to
contend with first. I think we need a quick review.

To begin with, the term ‘biocontrols’ is slang for ‘biocontrol
agents' and defined as “biological derived or identical to a
biological derived agent”. That means the term covers all types
of environmentally safe products. Watch out though, some of the
terminology might get confusing. ‘Biological control agents’ is a
more specific term… meaning only beneficial insects, nothing
else, although these bugs are often just referred to as
‘beneficial insects' or 'beneficial organisms’, somewhat slangy
terms. Within that, there are sub-categories, insects which might
be classified as ‘predators’, ‘parasites’ or ‘weed-eating
invertebrates’ which are “living organisms used for controlling
the population or biological activities of another life-form
considered to be a pest”. If you noticed, the industry prefers to
say ‘control’ instead of ‘kill’… a hedge maybe?

Today, there are about 30 commercially available predators, like
spiders, mites and beetles, which seek out and kill other bugs.
They are hatched, raised and sold by companies called
‘insectaries’. The number of parasites put to work has grown
also, about 60 of them critters, the likes of tiny wasps, flies
and a myriad of other parasites, parasitoids (host-killer
parasites) and also a few protozoan. Parasites live on (or in)
various ‘hosts’ (their victims) which impede the host’s
development or generally causes them injury. A protozoan,
however, is a ‘microbial control agent’, a different kind of
agent, which are not to be confused with biological control
agents.

There are about 25 biological control agents (good bugs) which
control weeds although they’re often just called 'beneficial
insects', the most common slang term which farmers use. By
whichever term, even though they don’t eat or live off other
bugs, they go around doing good deeds by controlling weeds.
Anyway, these weed-destructive bugs consist of moths, weevils,
beetles and flies. A fungus or two are also available for the
control of weeds and fungus, like a protozoan, is also a
‘microbial control agent’. As you might suspect, the honeybee is
also considered a beneficial insect but since the Africanized bee
began infecting some of their ranks, they can also cause
problems. I remember once when all bees led a dignified life
within their beehives but today many are terrorists and live in
weeds.

In addition, the industry has identified about a dozen different
beneficial nematodes, which, if you didn’t know already, are tiny
little wormlike-looking creatures that live underground.
Nematodes usually just eat roots and are normally considered
destructive but these little guys like to eat other bugs. The
industry has no interest in employing any vegetarian nematodes
that are non-selective, they just want bug eaters. From here on,
it starts to get more complicated and scientific sounding.
Microbial control agents, like fungi and protozoan, also mean
other teeny-tiny microscopic things like bacteria and viruses.
Farmers use about 25 different kinds to control undesirable bugs
and fungi.

The use of viruses and bacteria can sound kinda scary but don’t
worry, microbial control agents in Arizona are regulated by the
Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the Environmental Services
Division of the Arizona Department of Agriculture, the Animal and
Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) and the Plant Quarantine
Act (PQA) but you still need permits from the State of Arizona,
USDA, APHIS and from Biotechnology and Environmental Protection
(BEEP). Only then can a farmer apply the stuff… if his crop ain’t
already ate up. We’re not done yet, we still have ‘biochemical
control agents’. These are semichemicals such as plant-growth
regulators, hormones, enzymes, pheromones, allomones and
kairomones which are “either naturally occurring or identical to
a natural product that attract, retard, destroy or otherwise
exert a pesticidal activity”. Impressive, huh?

But that’s still not enough already… the EPA wants to push a
stupid term called ‘biorational pesticides'. And this is where
they get picky… you can use the term if you’re (1) not talking
about bugs or (2) not talking about synthetic-made stuff they
don’t think is identical enough to a given product of nature.
Anyway, I hate that term, there is nothing rational about causing
more confusion. In all, there are over 200 biocontrols of which
some have multi-use applications which equates to about 300
specific uses and there are at least 400 of these 'products' on
the market. Competing companies supplying the same product
accounts for this discrepancy.

A lot of biocontrols have hard-to-pronounce, stuffy-sounding
scientific names, which, I think, are thought-up by
laboratory-shackled scientists who jealously hate farmers and
like to see them get tongue-twisted and embarrassed. One such
case is ‘bacillus thuringiensis’, a bacteria widely used and
marketed in different variations but to spoil their fun, farmers
just call them ‘B-Ts’. Another thing farmers can use are made of
‘nuclear polyhedrosis viruses’ but they don’t sound very
environment-friendly to me.

What I really think is dumb are those goofy brand-names the
distributors use for these biocontrol products such as ‘Doom’,
‘Condor’, ‘Futura’, ‘Grandlure’ and so forth. I think they hired
the same marketing guys that work for the car companies… they
think brand names gotta sound ‘cool’.

Farmers also use juvenile hormones and behavioral modifiers.
Juvenile hormones keep bugs from maturing, thus denying them
their adult and reproductive cycle. It should be obvious what
behavioral modifiers do... it makes them less destructive.
sell plant-growth regulators too, made from
cytokinins and gibberellic acid. There are also sex hormones on
the market to confuse and attract bugs. Confusion and bugs I
don’t need.

In summary, these biocontrols are incredibly diverse but they
don’t include genetically engineered plants which have disease or
insect resistant qualities, but that’s another story. See
Genetically Modified Food (external link) or else genetically
modified organisms (GMOs) (external link)

Well, that sorta brings you up-to-date, so consider yourself
‘bio-informed’. Remember though, you can’t go around saying
‘biological’ anymore because people might think you’re talking
about bugs. If you’re still confused, talk about something else
or you could end up getting mighty embarrassed. Some words might
even sound organic when they're not. I knew a farmer who, when he
first heard the term ‘entrepreneur’, asked… “What kinda manure is
that?”